Release

Today I thought: I shall update pieblurb. So here I am! I have no plan for this post, but I think it'll be positive.

After what was starting to seem like an eternity of frustration, Isaac and I are enjoying life together again! I think that individually we were both doing all right, but together was strained and down right unpleasant at times. The past few days have been nothing short of blissful. We've met mummies with similar attitudes to parenting choices (YAY!), I've seen old friends, done two liver flushes, had a haircut and made plans, Isaac is enjoying nursery lots, we're settled in our routine with going to Daddy's house and the atmosphere at home has changed significantly, something has lifted. 

It's happened since he was so poorly (Isaac had a cold then was left with a very chesty cough for nearly four weeks before, during and after Christmas). That one was a milestone; it's the most poorly he's ever been and for the longest. I remember reading something in Raising a Vaccine Free Child a while ago about children changing during illness, exactly what escapes me, but I absolutely see what she means. I know he's growing and developing all the time, usually it passes by unnoticed until we see someone we haven't for a while and they comment and I reflect, but this is obvious to me even though I spend almost every day with him. I can't pinpoint it either, which is fine. I'm just happy that we've found our groove! 

When I lived with Isaac's father there was always so much to do! There was ALWAYS are huge pile of laundry, the never-ending stack of dishes, lots of rooms to be vacuumed/mopped/dusted/cleaned, little girl's and boy's rooms to be tidied, beds to change, [huge] lawns to mow, garden growth to tackle, plans for weekends to be made & carried out, the weekly food shop, meals to be planned and cooked, children to ferry around - I've made myself tired just remembering! I don't at all resent that I did these things and, for the most part I loved doing them. Big up to all the mamas that still do it daily! My point is that it's taken a good six months to acclimatise to there being only mine and Isaac's requirements. I felt useless for a long time, then frustrated, then bored and then I went through a whole phase of simply not giving a f***. At last I've struck a balance, mellowed a bit and the world feels right again. 

I don't think though, that I'd be where I was without the love and support of my amazing family and friends. I'm so very grateful and humbled to have many wonderful people in my life...and that they all still care! You all know who you are; whether you live down the road or bloody miles away, whether I see you once a week, once a year or rarely anywhere other than Facebook, I wouldn't be without any of you. And of course, my little sausage himself. Isaac. For a very long time I honestly believed I couldn't live with him on my own and that he'd be much better off with someone else. Well folks, today I close the door on those redundant affections. I'm DONE!