And now for something completely different

Yes. A new chapter in my life is starting. One where I am no longer married to and no longer living with Isaac's father. I've debated writing about this heavily with myself and have come to the conclusion that I am going to want to remember how I felt at the time and so here I am. 

I honestly and truly thought thirty was just a number, life goes on, one year older and nothing changes, right? Oh how wrong can a person be? Thirty, for me, was an epic milestone. A time for massive reflection, consideration, decision making and action. There are things I know in my heart to be true that I've ignored for a long time and things I thought would go away and haven't. 

As far as ending my marriage goes, well, it was the single most difficult thing I've ever done. So many ripples with endless possibilities. It's not as if my decision only affects me and certainly wasn't one made lightly. In the beginning I was really really angry, then really really sad. Now I've made peace with it (this isn't one of those posts so don't expect juicy details) and am looking forward to the future. We have an Isaac plan which looks pretty bloody good and means he'll get to see lots of his Daddy. It's not as traumatic as I thought it would be, now, and we're both very positive about the decisions we've made. It's down to people outside of the decision to accept our choices. They don't have to understand it or even like it. Just accept it and move on. We are.

As for Isaac? I know he won't grow up with Mummy and Daddy living together as a happy family unit and this is what breaks my heart. Even now as I write my eyes prickle. I swore I wouldn't make him feel what I did as a result of my parent's separation. I can't guarantee that, but through communication and honesty I'm hoping he'll understand and not hate me for it.

So now I return to a me almost forgotten. It's something getting to know her again. I thank each and every one of my friends who supports me in my decision and loves me for who I am, even though I lost sight of that a long time ago. 

That covers all I wanted to. Anything else is not yours to know.